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| A literal "line in the sand" |
Slouched in front of my computer, i open another tab and check my email. Yep, the same spammy emails are still there from when i checked five minutes ago. My phone vibrates and i look down to see a text from a friend returned from university asking to hang out. As i pick up my phone and read the message, i'm careful to avoid glancing at one particular text.
It's from my boss, asking for the hours i worked today. Easy enough, You think. Sounds routine; pretty straightforward. Definitely not worth blogging about, right? To understand my dilemma, let's rewind 12 hours.
I pull into the Hooters parking lot at 8:31, a minute late. As i jump out of the car i realize that i won't be needing the many layers i've piled on. I'll be outside most of today washing windows but although it's December, the sun is shining at a good 45 degrees. I walk over to a parked SUV and say hello to my manager (we'll call him Rick) as i give him a hand unloading our supplies. Due to the nature of our profession (cleaning windows with water), it's impossible to work when it's below freezing and with the recent cold weather, it's been two or three weeks since i've worked with him. Still, Rick greets me with his easy laugh and we set to work.
Despite my time away, window washing is a fairly simple process (any surprises there?) and i soon find my mind wandering as my hands set to work. I was only hired a month ago by our boss (we'll call him Josh) but i've really taken to it. It's a lot more enjoyable than my house cleaning jobs and it feels great walking around outside for most of my day. Rick and Josh are a mixed bag (as are all human beings) but if You take away Josh's micromanaging, money hungry habits and Rick's constant complaining about said tendencies, they're nice people to work with.
We make quick work of the windows and at 9:45 Rick and i load back into the car.
"We'll say You got here at 8 and we worked until 10, sound good?"
"Yeah, sure thing," i respond, not really thinking about it. I showed up at 8:30 but if my manager wants to give me the extra bit of pay, that's cool, right?
We get on the highway and head up to Monument for another clean. Rick takes the burden of conversation upon himself and spends the next 15 minutes complaining about how under compensated he is for his work.
"I'm just saying, i do a house, it takes 3 hours, they pay us 180 but i only ever see 45 of that."
At 42, Rick is a body building, gym managing, cool sunglass wearing kind of guy who's done it all, is very friendly, and has an air of "hard working cool" to him. He has the easygoing feel of that unmarried uncle that takes You out driving in his truck and sneaks You candy when You're a kid. Whether it's for those reasons, the fatherless child in me looking for an authority figure to trust, or some other, i find myself wanting to agree with what he has to say. So i do.
"Doesn't sound fair to me."
My input received, he continues talking until we arrive at the house we're schedule to clean. Saving You the grueling details, they weren't home and we spend the rest of the day driving from one business to the next. At each one, Rick would slightly alter the exact time we arrived and departed, making it seem as though we were there longer.
"You know, he doesn't pay for drive time? It's ridiculous, i'm telling You. It really cuts into our pay."
"Actually," i reply sheepishly, "i get paid from when i show up to when we finish, drive time included."
This tidbit understandably upsets Rick, launching him on another long rant about Josh's bad business setup.
"We're making the guy hundreds of dollars while he sits at home. You think he'd be willing to pay us more than just a sliver of that. I fudge the number just so we're not getting ripped off for our time."
"Mmm," i intelligently respond. I've vowed to go a year endeavoring to live honestly and not to tell a single lie. This is certainly blurring lines and i don't know what to say. Not only is Rick my manager, he's also a nice guy. While he's not particularly uplifting, he's not a guy i want to let down. I see the logic behind everything he's saying and i sympathize with him. He always takes the hardest work upon himself and wants to fudge the numbers for my sake as well as his. Still, while my mind can agree with that, it still goes against my convictions. I just don't know how big of a deal it is.
He drops me off at my car at 2:45.
"Let's sat that i dropped You back off at 3:30," he says. "That way, including the half hour lunch break, You'll have a solid 7 hours of pay."
I'm not sure what to say. I'm exhausted, i'm feeling sick, and i don't want to argue. I swallow the unpleasant taste of my convictions and mumble an agreement before getting into my car and heading home. Once inside, i make it up the stairs and dump my things on the floor. Laying in bed, i'm asleep in seconds. An hour later, i awake to find a text from my boss, asking me for my hours.
So here i am, back at my conundrum. What do i tell my boss; what i actually worked or how long my manager said i worked? If what i say is less than what Rick says, he'll be in trouble. He's trying to help us both out and the difference will hardly put a dent into what we've earned our boss. If i bring it up with my boss, it will feel like i'm screwing Rick after he tried to help me. How much does it matter?
As i write this, i feel the warmth coming from the fireplace as my friend and housemate Garrett carefully places another log in. His accuracy would make any scout master proud. We've been here a good two hours talking about our lives and the questions we struggle with. His work finished, Garrett turns back to me.
"Where does it end? If You cross the line once, they'll ask You to again. It's not about this or that. It's about who You are. You can loose a job and find another one, but it's hard to find Yourself after You let who You are slip away."
He's right. Bringing this up with Josh won't be easy. Having to see Rick afterwards will be even more difficult. But it's the right thing to do. It's my line in the sand, something that is core to who i am. I'm willing to lose a job if it means keeping my integrity. That's who i am.
Honesty wins.
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